I want to raise a caring child.

Teaching compassion to my child is the foremost duty of mine as a parent and I have been always working to fulfill that. I have made it a point to make my child caring and empathetic towards others. And for this I had started early.

In India we have grown listening to the story of Abhimanyu who was the son of Arjuna and Subhadra. The legend goes that Abhimanyu's battle training and education started in the womb only. He learnt all the battle secrets from his father while being inside the womb as he overheard the narration to his mother by father. This makes me a staunch believer of the fact that a baby can listen to you while in the womb. So I started to teach my child to be compassionate and humble from the time I conceived. Try it. Talk to your baby inside your womb about your thoughts, about your feelings, about everything. I bet he or she is going to respond.


I bet you speak to your baby in your womb about the developments happening around he would surely respond to you. Get ready for some kicks in your belly when you share a gesture of your good doings. And getting acknowledgement from your baby is going to add to your happiness manifold.



Secondly, do not leave an opportunity to shower your love and care on your baby or toddlers. These kids are sensitive form an age of about 4 months onward. At-least I could sense that in my baby. Check it out when you simply raise your voice your child might get hyper and start to cry. I observed this in many babies. My neighbor's daughter is just 5 months and when we all meet and suddenly our decibel levels go high because of anything, it might be a shrill voice or a loud call to save something from falling, the baby ends up crying inconsolably.

And as the child grows you can observe your child imitating you completely. I observed this in my son. My husband had got a small little bruise on his leg. The moment my son saw the bruise he started to talk sweet with his father and care for him. We all felt happy for his cute talks. But heart of heart I was happy because I could see my child being caring towards other's feelings and sentiments.

Thirdly, Praise thy efforts. Everyone is waiting to be praised for one's good deeds. I feel delighted by my husband's compliments for good food cooked, my husband feels proud of all the praises for his presentation. So you can imagine how elated your child would be when his effort to be a caring individual is accolade. He would start to associate the reward to the act.

With all this said there can be some more steps that would help your child understand the essence of "care":
1. Start at home. The way you speak to your help and all those people who are from a humble background the same way your child is going to react as soon as he sees a person of that status. I have always tried to explain it to my child that God created everyone equal so everyone should be treated at par.
2. Indulge in some charity every two months. Every two months because kids have a shorter memory span. So keep the charity fresh. This way he would get used to the idea of taking care of things as things like his toys are to be given ahead to needy kids.
3. Involve your kid in selecting flowers or card for your unwell friend or relative. In case you involve your kid to select the color of the card then he would make it a point to deliver the same to your friend and with all his heart into it.

Last but not least it is very important to help your child differentiate between compassion and benevolence. Being a caring individual should be his inherent quality that walks with him always and in every situation.

Ladoos: An Indian divine treat!

Ladoos has been and will always be the most liked sweet dish in an Indian household. Be it a celebration in the family or a festival pooja, nothing is complete without the lady of the house shaping the ladoos along with other preparations of the extravaganza. So much so that different festivals are associated to different kinds of ladoos. For Diwali, motichoor ladoos are prepared for Laxmi pooja. For Ganesh Chaturthi, Besan ladoos as well as “Modak” is prepared to be offered to Lord Ganesh. Even the “Karvachauth” fast that is observed by the ladies so that their husbands have a long and healthy life is not complete without preparation of rice ladoos.

Before we move further let me give you the technical gyan about Ladoos. The word ladoo has been derived from the Sanskrit word ‘lattika’ or ‘ladduka’ which means “small ball”. With such heavy dose of knowledge let’s learn about some varieties of ladoos commonly made in Indian kitchens.

1. Rava Ladoos are prepared using semolina and once prepared these are earthy brown in color. These ladoos are considered a healthier option of dessert.
2. Besan Ladoos are prepared using refined chickpea flour and is quite popular as “Prasad” in many temples across India. Its aroma and bright yellow color forces everyone to binge and overeat.
3. Atta Ladoos are prepared using wheat flour and is commonly prepared in Northern India.
4. Boondi Ladoos or Motichoor ladoos are bright orange in color and the only difference in Boondi and Motichoor ladoos is the size of boondi which is made using Bengal gram flour. For boondi ladoos the size of boondi is larger as compared to the fine boondi in motichoor ladoos.
5. Til ladoos are prepared using sesame seeds and is a delicacy relished during winters. It is generally taken with a glass of milk to help fight cold and to increase ones immunity.
6. Coconut ladoos are made using grated coconuts and is enjoyed in every season. Very easy to plate thus making these ladoos the easiest option for all mothers.

To accentuate these ladoos and to decorate these sweet delights, ladies since time immemorial have been using all kind of nuts with cashew and almonds as popular choices. Some even use “kesar” or saffron and even silver foils to add that royal touch to these delicacies.

With ladoos holding such an esteem position in our lives, I thought of preparing some to celebrate womanhood on International women’s day. Indeed this day is no less than a celebration! And I must say that best ladoos are the “Atta” ladoos or the ladoos prepared from wheat flour. Taste wise they are yummy and method is much simpler than the usual besan ladoos prepared.

Let me share the method so that all the lovely ladies can prepare this sumptuous delicacy so as to impress everyone around as well as oneself for bringing to plate such wonder. It is even a healthy option as a dessert as it is prepared with whole-wheat flour.

The ingredients required for making atta ladoos one requires:

1 cup wheat flour
1/2 cup Ghee
3/4 cup powdered sugar
1/3 cup crushed almonds
Pieces of almonds to decorate

Melt the ghee in a pan and add atta (wheat flour) to it. The important feature to prepare ladoos is to keep the flame at low and keep stirring the atta and ghee together for next 20 minutes. One can see the color of the mixture changing from light brown to dark brown. Also, the kitchen will be engulfed with the sweet aroma and it is simply magical.

Next step is to put off the flame and remove the mixture in a bigger bowl or plate and let it cool. Now add the crushed almonds and sugar, mix them all using hands and roll them into ladoos. While rolling them into small balls it is best to press an almond so as to garnish the same.

Also it is best to store them in an airtight container so that the same can be relished for a longer time.

My Most Dreaded Nightmare: Behaviour Problem

My son is changing every new day. He learns new things and to my utter surprise he is a new boy everyday. Well nothing to get surprised of as he has so many things around that would influence him in many ways. My son's pediatrician told me when my son was born that he is a clean slate today, write all good things in his memory and see him growing into a good lad. I have always been cautious in whatever I say or do in front of him. But it is not just me only that influence him. There are many factors like bad role models and specially of their age group, television and even the daily interaction with people who are part of our lives.

But all this can be dealt with by parents only.
And for this, one needs to be an aware and an involved parent because you need to observe whether these behavioral problems are occasional or is it a routine. Also one needs to observe if there is any reason that triggers this behavior in your child. Here are some tips that I have complied for myself that I will surely take care off to keep such problem areas at bay.

1. Time management: As a parent I need to spend time with my son too. Generally I have observed that kids tend to throw tantrums only to gain attention. If I can carve out some valuable time with my son then there are chances that I can steer his thoughts the way I want to. And if he is aware of this fact that this particular moment my parents are not going to do anything else other than being with me then it is for sure that the behavior will fluctuate less. So for this you need to manage your time well that you have ample time up your sleeve. Everything else should be secondary for you when it comes to your child's time. Remember you can do other chores tomorrow but this particular time when your child needs you and you can enjoy with your child will never come tomorrow.

2. Keep a check on your behavior too: Kids love to imitate their parents. Check out the girls imitating the mothers and boys imitating their fathers. Actually they would observe you more closely even better than you would observe yourself. The way you deal with you temper will be the standard operating procedure for him. So be very careful to what you do whenever things don't go as per you. keep your tantrums in control and see your child behaving in conditions that does not go in his favor.

3. No TV and Video games Day:  I am sure of the fact that there will be a complete check on the number of hours that my child is going to watch TV or play video games. Actually have started early that there is a day in a week that is without any TV or video games. Hope this interaction with TV is lessened and there are less chances of my kid getting swayed.

4. Reduce Pressure on your kids: Generally parents try and keep their kids busy by utilizing their every bit of their time. After school the kids are enrolled in dance classes, art classes, karate classes and many more. And not to forget the tutions. The kids do not have breathing space also. There might be some activities that the kids do not like but are made to do so because their parents desire them to do so. Parents cannot be blamed too for all these because what they could not do in their childhood or what they could not get in their childhood they want their kids to enjoy all that. In all this they forget what pressure they are putting on their kids. And the only way to ease out the pressure, the kids tend to show behavioral changes and even rely on means like lying. Thus as a educated parent it is my duty to see what my kids like and enjoy and enroll them for those activities only. And the day should be so scheduled that the child has enough time to unwind too.

5. Be steady with your rules: We set some rules of the house for our kids and they get used to these rules. But one day we are very busy and the kids want your relaxation of these rules and just because we have to do a particular chore and do not want the kid to trouble us then we try and bend the rules. Kids are very smart. They can gauge when to twist your arm for things to go their way. If you don't allow them to play video games in the evening then you should not relax the rule in case there are guest coming over in the evening for a leisure meeting. But yes do plan something for your kid so that his time is utilized and he is occupied.

The kid is not the problem it is just their behavior that is the problem. So I am sure that to tackle the problem I will hit on the behavior aspect than to hit on my child. It was my decision to bring him to this world so I have to take all possible steps to make him a good human being and a child with behavior at its best. For me tantrums is a complete no-no but yes mischief which does not harm anybody is surely acceptable. It is my duty to teach my child the difference between good and bad as well as what is acceptable and what is not. And I take full responsibility for the same.

Give your kids the gift of reading!

Reading is a dying hobby and this I can say with my personal example. When we were kids we used to enjoy reading story books and as we grew up our story books converted to comics and then to novels. I still remember our parents getting the best and the most colorful storybooks with lots of pictures to enjoy. But with television coming in the kids could find an alternative to stay busy and there are so many options in a television or internet that they expend their time but the options to entertain one self does not finish.

As a parent I think the fault lies with us too. We too as individuals have a hectic lifestyle and find it convenient that our kids keep themselves busy with the electronic media. But we are not realizing that our not introducing a book to our children is doing them more harm than anything else. So before I try and convince the younger generation to read, I would try and persuade the parents by making them well versed with the benefits of reading.

1. The first and foremost benefit of reading is that it gives you ample opportunities to connect with your child. I still remember that when  my mother introduced Enid Blyton to me, she was the one who took me to the library talking about the novel all through the way and made me inquisitive to pick it up. And as I finished reading the book we had long chats about the book on the dining table, in the kitchen, while driving and even before going to bed. My younger brother used to wait for the bed time stories to pick up his favorite book and listen his favorite story from mom.

2. I am a staunch believer of the fact that the kids who are introduced to books in earlier part of life are better in academics than otherwise. By reading books one is introduced to new words. These new words are sure to tickle your child's grey cells and he will take all steps to understand the new word. Also the kids who read have better capability of sentence formation and that too with correct grammar.

3. The kids who read are friendlier towards other options of entertainment other than the video games and television. They would see reading a book as a source of entertainment rather than a chore or a homework. Once they love books then are less likely to get distracted and bored which is a prevalent problem that the kids of today's generation faces. Reading books instill qualities like self discipline and better attention span which are much needed for a child to be successful in all aspects of life.

4. Last but not the least, books help the child to be more creative and logical. This means to say that the child who reads has more creative thinking. Reading introduces the child to so many real and fictional characters that they relate to them so easily. Look out at the stories they would weave after reading the books. And yes logical aspect would come in because a story read acquaints a child to cause and effect of a particular situation.

So, look out for those special moments where you, your kid and the book are one and cherish every possible aspect related to those moments. I bet once your child loves to read you will be rest assured that your child is on the right path and would always be in the right company. Thus it becomes your responsibility to squeeze in some time out of your schedule to read to your child. He would love you and the book forever. In case your child has grown up do not worry. It is never too late to start a good routine. Pick up some good reads and it will surely attract your child to check those out.

“How toys are important for the development of my child”

Toys, children and play are like morning, sunshine and freshness. It’s just natural for a child to play with toys. If play is the work of a child then toys are the tools.

I have a 24 month child, named Annhad. From the time I conceived my child, I was very clear about the toys that I would want my baby to play with. As a responsible parent I know that toys help build and develop a child’s essential skills. They prove to develop and enhance self confidence, creativity, emotional and social bonding as well as resilience. For my child development, toys are important in following ways:

(a)   Toys make Learning process self-sustained based: When Annhad was 4 months old and we were anxiously waiting for him to crawl, I picked up a colorful ball from the nearest toystore and placed in front of him. He got attracted towards it and started to move towards it after few days. Babies respond instinctively to their surroundings and toys become important as they stimulate a baby’s brain, thereby arousing interest and inquisitiveness.

(b)   Relationship with the world are based on love, kindness and sharing: Annhad, who is now 24 months old, is fully aware of his surroundings and the people he interacts with. My help’s children come to play with him in the evening. I have seen him sharing his toys with them. He gets so excited to see them play with his toys.  By learning to share his toys and playing with my help’s children, I think my child is fostering strong and loving relationships.

(c)   Toys promotes joy which is very essential for my child’s self esteem and health: My child’s ability to learn to throw/ catch a ball and getting appreciation from his mother/grandmother surely adds to his positive self. Our smiles, when he shows us his achievement with blocks, our “thank you” and appreciations when he shares his toys with others, will surely grow my child into a good citizen with positive frame of mind.

(d)   Toys maximize Annhad’s learning potential: Toys that my child plays with help him understand his environment to the fullest. He tries to figure out on his own how things are working. I have seen him exploring a car completely just to understand how its wheels were moving. He uses his own imagination to build blocks and solve any problem that he encompasses.

(e)   Toys create a basic trust in the world: The toys that my child plays with gives him a hands on experience of how things are moving around in this world. By rolling a ball or by building stacks of blocks he is becoming more aware of his surroundings. My positive feedbacks on his achievements and rich experiences that Annhad gets with his toys gives him the confidence to go on in the new world. The toys help build interest in the activities around.

Thus, I am sure of this fact that Toys are those vital tools that would help enhance mental, physical, emotional and social development of my child. They are the basic instruments for the development of my child’s imagination and creativity.

Beating retreat: A ceremony commemorating the regal of Indian Martial Tunes!

Today, on the January the 29th, 2013 India culminated their Republic day’s celebrations with the Beating Retreat at the Raisina Hills and Vijay Chowk on Rajpath. Being away from Delhi I became the audience to this grand ceremony while sitting in front of the television. But the moment I switched on the television to see the ceremony I was taken back to 2005 when I was posted in an Army unit at Delhi and got the chance of being there at the venue. And I am taking this opportunity to share with everyone what I felt while being there at the moment.
The venue of the Beating Retreat is the Raisina Hills and Vijay Chowk flanked by the North and South block which is part of the Rashtrapati Bhavan (Presidential estate) properties. The venue itself adds to the grandeur of the event. The pulses becomes fast as you try and gather a perfect spot to view the ceremony.
Perfectly at the designated time, the cavalcade of President started to arrive along with his cavalry of bodyguards mounted on decorated horses. This is accompanied with Fanfare sounded by the trumpeters mounted on the domes at South and North Block. The President gets a National salute by the Presidential Bodyguards and the air around the venue starts to reverberate with the Indian National song. Oh, what a sense of pride every Indian must have felt as the “Jan Gan Man” started to play by the bands there!
After this the main event started with Martial tunes being heard from little far off. But no, it was just coming from over the cliff. The bands from three services come marching into the venue with style personified. And the view of the bands marching to the martial tunes is simply majestic. The whole group is indeed the best of the pipe and drum bands from various units and battalions of Indian Army and Navy and Air Force band.
The martial tunes are played by the bands along with different formations and walking style by the band. They walked smartly around in slow march and quick march and kept everyone gripped to their seats. This was followed by a spectrum of peppy beats by the drummers. One has to be there to feel the moment. Famous as a Drummers call, this gives way to the lowering of National flag with the bells at a distance ringing in the air. Indeed a divine event.
The event is culminated with national flags being lowered with Retreat sounded by the trumpets. Upon this the band commander takes the permission from the President to disperse the band. And when President concurred to that the most popular and most magnificent tune is played by all bands. The bands march out playing “Sare Jahan Se Accha” and walks past the cliff in between the North and South Block.
But this is not the end. As the music ends, the grandness of the event is increased manifold by the majestic lights atop North and South Block defining clearly its boundaries. And one can hear a louder “Aww” from the crowd who are just spell bound.
Today, after 8 years when I saw this event on Television my memories were refreshed and I promised my son that I will surely take him to witness this grand ceremony and enjoy every bit of festivity attached to the same.

Important aspects of Child care

As the time passes, every parent gains experience. So did I. The whole routine of taking care of my son'd daily chores was an integral part of me. And as a experienced parent, I recommend that it is a must to be more methodical in your approach. It is not a hard and fast rule to be so but when some small changes in our approach can be a support to us, it is best to do it.

To support a mom to be a supermom, so that she can keep a track of the daily development of her angel, the best available tool is a Baby Book/ Baby Diary.A perfect resource book that helps you monitor everything that is related to your child's growth. Be it the first smile, the first food tasted, the first dress worn, the first step taken or serious affair like the vaccine schedule, the tooth eruption, everything is monitored and recorded. It can also be used to refer to in case you want to know the past trend of your baby.

As a mother, we are the ones who are going to spend the maximum time with our babies. So it is very important to be well versed with all the aspects of baby care. 

And here are a few elements that according to me are very important to be taken care of so that the baby has a soothing journey:

1. Baby Feeds:

Till your child is 6 months, he is on mother feed or formula milk. It is important to track the feeding pattern of your child. If your child is on breastfeed, the child gets all the nutrition from the milk otherwise consult your doctor to suggest you a good formula milk that would cater for all the nutrients that the child would miss due to not taking the breast milk.

 As soon as your child turns 6 months old introduce the solids. Ensure that you introduce solids that are nutritious and healthy. For my son I introduced the following solid foods:

(a) Apple peeled, boiled and mashed. Added a small stick(very small size) of cinnamon so that the apple is not sour.

(b) All seasonal fresh juices.

(c) Oats with boiled milk.

(d) Spinach blanched and mashed.

(e) Seasonal fruits that have a soft core.

(f) Poached egg yolk only (no whites)

I had restricted the use of sugar and salt to a minimal. The reason I did was that the kids of today's world eat too much of fast food which is high in salt and desserts that are high in sugar, which is the major reason of obesity. Thus, a small measure from my side will ensure a healthy living for my son.

2. Sleep pattern: Babies sleep a lot but the sleep schedule is not fixed. Till about 4 months they have very short sleep cycles. They sleep for mere two hours at a stretch. Later on as they grow they sleep long hours. It is imperative to formalize a sleep pattern for your child as it is during their rest time they grow. 

To formalize a sleep pattern following are few tips:

(a) Notice your child's body signs for him being tired. Sometimes the baby is cranky because he wants to sleep. Keep a track of those signs and soothe him to sleep.

(b) Start a bedtime routine by giving him a massage, changing him to his night clothes and singing a lullaby. Do it for few days which will adapt your child to your routine.

(c) Also when it is a day, keep the curtains open so that the bright sunlight comes in and adds to the brightness of the environment. This will help the child see that during the day it is so bright and sunny. Interact with him, sing to him during the day. All such steps helps him differentiate between day and night.

Lots can be added to the list of baby care like Diapers, safety in the house and it's surroundings etc but for me I wanted to have a healthy environment for my son and these two I monitored the most during his growing years.